Hermione Heritage walked past the Jubilee Market on Bristol Way in Lancashire. Known for its fine array of teas from India and China, the Market was frequented by many of the Members of Parliament. Hermione had no use for politicians. She had even less tolerance for the Royals. And mention the Queen, and bloody hell breaks loose.
“The ol’ bat” Hermitage starts away, “is quite the bit ‘ard of ‘earing! She could stan’ to be aided.”
Hermione worked at Buckingham for seventeen years, dusting the plate armor and weaponry. She ran out of silver polish with great regularity. She determined they didn’t pay well enough.
“It always fell on me shou’ders to front the money for polish what I was responsible to paid ou’ of me own purse.” she’d blather. “Ol’ Lizzie owes me twenty quid, she does!”
As the rain starts to pour, Hermitage opens her umbrella.
“When I tol’ her I had 20 quid in, she’d smile and wave that silly wave of ‘ers. She’d say “Quite!” and have a messenger deliver it to me ‘ome”
And then Hermione spit on the ground.
“What in bloody ‘ell am I to do with twenty octopi? Mr. H, is allergic an’ I can’t get the blighters ou’ of me stew kettle!
Hermitage made an obscene gesture to the portrait of Her Majesty as she passed the Jubilee!